How To Go Out To Eat | Mighty Cooks

Knowing how to go out to eat is a subject near and dear to my heart, as a restaurant owner who comes from a restaurant family. I know this is not the case for everyone. I have met people who have literally never gone to a sit-down restaurant or diner. This is for those people, and maybe also for tourists or anyone who feels nervous about the process.

I am going to try to take some of the uncertainty out of going out to eat, whether you are meeting friends or going by yourself. Please note that this is written from the perspective of an American going to American eateries.

Choose a Restaurant That Fits Your Budget

First and foremost is understanding where to go. Restaurants in most cities in the US run the gamut from cheap food trucks to exclusive places that have a dress code and a months-long wait list. I am not really going to talk about those exclusive places. I assume if you have found them and made a reservation, going out to eat is probably something you already do.

Next, you need to know your budget. I am going to stress this very strongly: if you cannot afford to go out to eat, please do not. Restaurants are businesses trying to turn a profit, and our pricing will reflect that. Your grocery store is almost always going to be cheaper. There is no shame in this, so please do not feel pressured to go out.

The least expensive restaurants are typically fast food places, small local diners, or food trucks that are not trying to reinvent the wheel. The middle lane is where most restaurants live. This includes most sit-down places for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Places with a dress code, a famous chef, or required reservations are usually going to be more expensive.

If you have a budget in mind, check the menu online first so you know what to expect.

Decide What Kind of Food You Want

Even in the smallish town I live in, you can find American, Mexican, Italian, pizza, Chinese, steak houses, and, oddly enough, a Scandinavian place specializing in small plates. Americans love food, and we love everyone’s food, so you are usually going to have options.

After you know what you want to eat and you are comfortable with the price, you either need to head out or make a reservation, depending on the kind of restaurant.

If you are unsure where to start, a local diner or casual sit-down place is usually a good first choice. Those places tend to be easier to navigate than a very formal restaurant.

What to Do When You Arrive

Once you arrive at the restaurant, you are usually going to be met by a hostess or a sign. The sign might say “please wait to be seated” or “please seat yourself.”

If they ask you to wait, they likely have a hostess who is controlling the flow of the dining room for the servers and kitchen. Please wait on them and know they are doing what is needed for the restaurant.

If the sign tells you to seat yourself, please do not sit at a dirty table. By dirty, I mean a table with plates or glasses still on it. It makes cleanup harder if you are already sitting there, and the staff might miss you because it looks like that table is still occupied. If the table you want is dirty, just wait nearby, and someone will clean it.

If you are not sure what to do when you walk in, just ask. You can say, “Do we seat ourselves?” or “Should I wait here?” Nobody is going to think that is strange.

How Ordering Usually Works

Depending on the type of restaurant you have selected, you might be given menus, silverware, water, and maybe bread, chips, or something else for the table. Not every restaurant does that, and it does not always mean those items are automatically free if you are not ordering a full meal, so do not be afraid to ask if you are unsure.

At most casual sit-down restaurants, the flow is pretty simple. You get seated, a server comes by, and they ask about drinks. When they bring your drinks, they may ask if you are ready to order. If you are not, it is completely fine to say, “I need a few more minutes.” Nobody will be offended by that.

Once you order, the server may check on you once or twice before the food comes out, especially if you need refills. When the food arrives, it helps to ask for anything extra you want right away, like sauces, napkins, or a refill, or whatever else you know you are going to want. That saves time for everyone.

After that, the server will usually check in at least once to make sure the food is to your liking. If you need something, this is a good time to ask. If you do not need anything, a quick “we’re good, thank you” is enough.

It Is Fine to Ask Questions or Need More Time

If you do not know what something is, ask. If you are unsure between two things, ask. If you need another minute with the menu, say so.

A lot of people feel pressure to act like they already know how everything works, but restaurants are not tests. You are allowed to ask what a side dish is, whether something is spicy, what comes on a sandwich, or how big a portion is.

That is normal. It is part of the job.

Eating Alone Is Normal Too

If you are eating alone, do not feel weird about it. People eat alone all the time. The staff is not judging you, and most of the room is too busy paying attention to their own table to care.

If you want to take leftovers home, it is completely normal to ask for a box. If you are ready to leave and the check has not come yet, it is also completely normal to ask for it.

There is no need to feel nervous or intimidated. Servers have seen many, many things, and you would probably have to work at it to become a story passed around in the back of the house.

How Tipping Works

I do not want to cause controversy with this. I am not here to debate whether tipping should exist. I am just going to tell you how it works, so you are not confused.

In the US, tipping at a sit-down restaurant is normal. Tips are usually based on the subtotal before tax. A typical tip is somewhere around 15% to 20%, though some people tip less and some people tip more.

Here is a real-world example. Let’s say you are at an Italian place and you order pasta for $15 and a soda for $3. Your subtotal is $18, and that is what your tip is based on. If you are tipping 20%, your tip would be $3.60.

If you do not want to overthink it, tipping somewhere in the 15% to 20% range is a perfectly normal choice in most sit-down restaurants.

Basic Restaurant Etiquette

Here are some things to keep in mind if you are new to going out to eat:

If the restaurant is very busy, expect the food to take a little longer.
Please do not create your own menu. Small changes like no mayo are usually fine, but trying to piece together a whole custom dish can slow the kitchen down.
If the restaurant is close to closing when you come in, please do not linger. If you want to spend a long time talking, it is better to go somewhere that will still be open.

Sometimes restaurants run out of things. It happens. Pick another item and move on.
A restaurant meal is almost always going to cost more than cooking at home. You are paying for the building, labor, utilities, and convenience, not just ingredients.
If you are unsure what something is or what is in it, ask the server.

If you have an allergy, mention it to the server clearly, even if you think the dish should not contain it.

Final Thoughts

Going out to eat can seem intimidating, but there is no need to avoid it. There is an entire world of food out there, and you deserve to experience it.